i was just thinking about things.
i just told her a lot a lot a lot
of things i dont normally tell anyone.
not even most of my frens.
to be exact from then till now i
doubt many people really knew
what happened.
most of them didnt know the specifics.
cause i got over it and didnt see
the need to dig out the past.
starting when i just started talking i
felt weird. got a bit grumpy.
maybe i just felt weird talking about
all these after so long.
its like it i was talking about someone
else, and the subject of the incident
wasnt me and was another person.
but as time passed i felt relaxed,
felt calm and composed.
maybe its cause all the things i
ought to have told someone in the
first place, and i might have gotten
over it faster.
but i truely doubt so.
i believe its cause of our special r/s,
me and her,
that cause me to feel some sort of
closure i should have felt eons ago.
and the most interesting thing i have
realised is that i do not hate her.
i dont.
or him either, at any case.
and now i just hope, really hope,
that im doing the right thing.
or rather things i will not regret
about doing in the future.
i really dont know if i have the energy
to pick the pieces of myself off the
floor if it happens again.
what if i dont?
then what will happen to me?
i just told her a lot a lot a lot
of things i dont normally tell anyone.
not even most of my frens.
to be exact from then till now i
doubt many people really knew
what happened.
most of them didnt know the specifics.
cause i got over it and didnt see
the need to dig out the past.
starting when i just started talking i
felt weird. got a bit grumpy.
maybe i just felt weird talking about
all these after so long.
its like it i was talking about someone
else, and the subject of the incident
wasnt me and was another person.
but as time passed i felt relaxed,
felt calm and composed.
maybe its cause all the things i
ought to have told someone in the
first place, and i might have gotten
over it faster.
but i truely doubt so.
i believe its cause of our special r/s,
me and her,
that cause me to feel some sort of
closure i should have felt eons ago.
and the most interesting thing i have
realised is that i do not hate her.
i dont.
or him either, at any case.
and now i just hope, really hope,
that im doing the right thing.
or rather things i will not regret
about doing in the future.
i really dont know if i have the energy
to pick the pieces of myself off the
floor if it happens again.
what if i dont?
then what will happen to me?
